


MadloveforRK Drabble Battles

by onlyinhindsight



Series: MadloveforRK Writings [2]
Category: Twilight RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 23:11:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 14,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyinhindsight/pseuds/onlyinhindsight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to force/inspire ourselves to write prompts, we started creating challenges for ourselves. How many odd combo requests could we tackle? How many pieces can we write in an hour? Drabble Battles was one the challenges that became an event for us. It was a way to clear the inbox faster and to push ourselves in fun/new/interesting ways. Sometimes we were fruitful; sometimes.... not so much. It's all in making an attempt, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drabble Battle UNO ;) Present, thong

“I spy with my far away eye….” Rob drawled out the words to heighten the suspense and her agitation as a result.

“Jesus fucking Christ, out with it all ready.” She blew out a gust of air into the phone receiver as she fiddled with the cigarette tease in her hand. To smoke or not to smoke.

“Your thong th-thong thong thong!” He guffawed at his outdated joke, unable to see her eye roll and smile at his usual antics aimed at cheering her up. She saw the cameras across the body of water where they filmed that day, and he had to know it irritated the hell out of her.

“Fuck off.” She fiddled with the lighter, pulling the cigarette to her mouth. Just one smoke won’t hurt.

“Awww, I know and you know that I hate the paps, but any time I can see that robust ass of yours can’t be that bad.”

“I don’t know, honey bun,” she mocked sweetly. “The next time you go out, wear a thong and tell me how you feel about it being splashed online.”

“Shit … I’m a shit. I was just trying to I don’t know make light of an already fucked situation.” His hand twisted in his hair. He wished he’d been available to Skype instead so he could read her face. “The real thing is better than these shite pap pics, love.” He let his English accent roll heavily knowing how she often responded to it.

“Damn right the real thing is better.” She pouted somewhat appeased by his contrite tone and feeling guilty about the cigarette she was close to lighting. “Thong show when I get home?”

“Mmmm and what would that entail, Kris?”

“Other than the obvious? Ehh, I’m not sure, but it’ll probably include my robustness twerking to Sisqo.”


	2. Drabble Battle DOS Dylan. Talk. Recent

Rob scrambled to see the recent messages on his phone, most of which were from his mother who’d been alerted to the recent gossip surrounding his love life. Complete rubbish, but he still had to remind her from time to time when evidence looked a little too real for her to dismiss. Unfortunately, it didn’t take much for her to wonder at the credibility of a tabloid story involving her only son.

“Robert!” His mum’s voice chimed through the distance. He could hear some kind of commotion in the background.

“Did I catch you at a bad time? I can call—“

“No, no, no! Always a moment for you, especially since you’ve been too busy to call lately,” she scolded. “Anyway, my sisters are here and you know how they can be….”

She left her sentence hanging, and he knew exactly what she’d been dealing with on that end. He was all too grateful he only had to deal with his mum as a buffer from his other inquisitive relatives. “You know what I—“

“What you always say, Robbie,” she cut in. “Never believe the tabs, but this one had pics and an eye witness!”

“Mum! Nothing is going on. Don’t you think if anything had changed, if I’d suddenly fallen head over heels in love with someone—someone new and not–not her.“ He closed his eyes and took a breath. "Don’t you know that you and da would be first ones I’d call?”

“Yes, of course, but you should call more, Patty,” she chided. "I’m glad to hear it. She’s not right for you anyway. I doubt she even cooks.” The unmentioned person behind her words–the one who cooks–was not lost to either of them.

“It doesn’t matter, mum, because it’s all false. I know… things have just been busy … good busy. I’ll explain later, but I’ll make more time to call. Promise.” He smiled at his next bit of news. “In fact, I’m planning an extended trip for December.”


	3. Drabble Battle TRES! Kristen coming home from filming and Rob and TGC make her cookies and she comes home to them having a food fight

She hung her keys on the hook and toed off her shoes to kick them near the door. The shoot today was beyond stressful. The more physical aspects of this film were beginning to take their toll on her. She winced as she rolled her shoulder. The massage on set had helped only so much, but all she’d wanted since they wrapped for the day, once she and the director were satisfied with take after grueling take, was a long hot shower and maybe some extremely careful cuddling from her two loves.

It was strange for the dogs and her little Betty Boop (as she was often called because of her giggle) not to greet her at the door, but when she heard that tell-tale laugh coming from the kitchen, she knew some distraction was keeping her from their usual routine. She tried not to feel a little put out about that as she smiled at the sounds of Rob and their little girl carrying on and made her way toward the kitchen.

Her jaw dropped when she entered. It looked as if they’d murdered the Pilsbury Doughboy and threw him around the room in maniacal celebration. She hoped most of it was flour and sugar and tried not to look too closely at the crime scene. A bit of cookie dough plopped on to the floor, and Bear ran to swallow it whole before anyone could stop him.

“Ummm, hey,” Rob scratched the back of his head, causing a large amount of flour to bloom forth from his head. He looked at her a bit sheepishly. “We’re going to clean this up.”

“We made you sugah cookies, mummy!” A tiny, sweet voice rang out.

Kristen raised an eyebrow at her husband. “Is that right?” She walked over to their daughter and scooped her up. “Are you my sugar cookie?”

“Nooooo, they’s in the oven, mummy.”

Rob winked at their daughter. The kid was young, but he suspected she already knew what “mummy” and “daddy” did to them when they were bothered.

“And we’re going to clean all this up while mummy relaxes, right?” He lifted her out of Kristen’s arms and sweetly kissed her on the cheek.

“No, daddy!”


	4. Dninja: Drabble Battle CUATRO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last but not least…. ? Kind of a combo to take care of the following three: Thank you guys for all that you do! My request is a song: Butterflies by Sia Rob being excited when he gets the call to audition for Twilight. A flashback to when Rob first saw Kristen in ‘Into the wild’ and how his crush on her began.

He jumped up from the couch when she entered. She was in a tee, jeans, and a hoodie, but still her appearance did a number on his chest. His heart hammered, and if he were a nancy git he’d admit that there was a fluttering in his stomach, but he’d never tell Tom, Sam, or Marcus. The Xanax his agent had given him to calm his nerves had done little to cure this kind of anxiety. Girl-induced anxiety.

“Hey.”

She nodded and opened her mouth to say the same, but the entrance of the loud and brash director cut her off. He focused on Catherine Hardwicke, but he could feel Kristen Stewart’s eyes examining him. He kept calling her that in his head. KRISTEN STEWART. I’m in the same fucking room as Kristen Stewart! Kristen fucking Stewart. Fucking Kristen Stewart. God damn.

He wondered if this was similar to the swooning people write about in romances. He knew he wanted her at first sight, but she was just an on-screen little slip of a siren then. He often lusted after her, held himself in his hands at night imagining her, thrust into his girl wondering about that one walking toward him on the screen, crooning. He could be Emile Hirsch. Would’ve been bloody better at it. Her name was what drove his curiosity when his agent convinced him to take a chance on this audition. As soon has he’d heard KRISTEN STEWART was attached to the script he’d long forgotten about and some ass spilled beer all over—likely it was him, he booked a ticket to LA. He’d known he was attracted on-screen, but off-screen her very nature sliced right through him. What shocked him, when he stared into her frighteningly green eyes, was the need to impress her and the fear that he would love her if he got this part.

“So, you’re from London?” His thoughts quieted at her voice. Soft. Husky.

She peered up at him almost shyly and yet her eyes weren’t intimidated at all. They almost dared him to do something he couldn’t understand. Her lips quirked up a bit at him for some unknown reason to him.

Catherine continued to chatter from the next room as she looked for something she’d forgotten. His voice finally scratched out an answer to her question–a yes, and then they stood in awkwardly comfortable silence as they pretended to listen to squawking from the bedroom.


	5. Drabble Battle UNO What do you think about rob’s quote “people don’t realize how lonely you are”? Do you think it’s about kristen? If he’s, please write a story about it. Thank you so much!

She dropped the card key on the bed and combed her fingers through hair with a sigh. Exhaustion had begun to settle into her bones, but her legs and feet continued to twitch. She wanted to move despite the desire to sleep. She’d slept yesterday and couldn’t remember the last time she talked or did something—really talked or did something—that wasn’t in character to another person also in character. She felt holed up inside and not just because she hadn’t explored the city beyond her hotel suite. She missed her friends. She missed walking. She missed the anonymity of being herself. She missed Rob.

Her fingers quickly found their way to their last exchange via text, and her teeth worried her lip as she considered what to say.

Hey. You busy? – K

Kind of. What’s up? – R

Nothing. Just finished shooting for the day. Even though I’m tired, I don’t want to sleep, y’know? – K

She waited a few minutes to see if he’d reply and wandered over to the balcony to look out over Madrid. She could see the city lights, and she knew even if she managed to escape notice for a little while, she’d still feel alone here. Alone and drained. She was grateful for the work and knew that this life of hers was full of privilege and decadence. She sat in a chair on the balcony and hugged her knees to her chin.

Her phone buzzed in her hand. She hesitated and wondered if she should just shut it off for the night and let sleep happen. Her mind and body likely needed it. She caved, entering the code to see his reply.

Yeah. I know that feeling. Hey… if you want, I can be there with you. – R

She blinked to clear her eyes. Same message alit on her screen.

What? No…. I mean you shouldn’t. You’re busy and I’m just feeling…. Idek tonight. I’m sorry I bothered you. –K

Kris, if it was a bother, I wouldn’t have offered. Offer still stands. – R

Taking a deep breath, her thumbs hovered over the touch screen. What did she want? He had a way of making her feel like such a girl. Before she could respond, she received another text from him.

I miss you. – R

I can be there in 48 hours. – R

Say yes. – R

Are you going to make me beg? –R

I can be rude and just show up, too. –R

She giggled at his rapid fire texts and hurried to respond to let him off the hook.

Okay, okay, okay! Please come! I am begging you. ;) –K

And I miss you, too. –K


	6. Drabble Battle DOS Could you write a one-shot about Kristen being pregnant and the hormones cause her to be a bit -ahum- “unreasonable” and she takes it out on Rob? Thank you guys!:)

Kristen stared up from her laptop to where Rob was on the other side of the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal and reading some crime-thriller novel he was hoping to make into a movie. Had he always chewed so fucking loudly? She imagined throwing that bowl full of milk and Cheerios across the room, but the thought of the mess that would cause pissed her off even more. Then she’d have to clean that up because the floors would remain a sticky mess after he’d attempt to clean it, and every time she’d walk over that spot it would feel tacky under her swollen, bare feet. Everything was his fault. Him and his goat-chewing, cereal-slurping, loud-ass-page-turning, ovum-seeking ways. How much chewing does a cheerio even need?

She stared and stared unable to concentrate beyond the millions of wasps the irritation was spawning inside her skull. How he managed to obliviously continue under the heat of her glare, she didn’t understand.

“Do you have some place else you can do that?”

The goat-chewing, cereal-slurping, loud-ass-page-turning, ovum-seeker stopped completely and looked up at his wife. He felt something inside him shrivel at her tone and the look in her eye. He searched his brain for something he’d done to irritate her and came up empty. Vaguely, he recalled his father and Tom warning him about something and laughing together when he’d boasted how well Kristen was handling the pregnancy. Not much they’d said made sense at the time, but nevertheless, his father and Tom insisted he remember one simple phrase.

“Yes, dear.”


	7. Drabble Battle TRES Catherine Hardwicke is kind of the “special guest” on RK’s wedding and giving a speech to everyone about how she’s the reason RK met and she believed in them since day 1

Rob kept openly twisting his neck to get another glimpse of his wife. He couldn’t believe they were married. Well, he could believe it. Seven years prior when he’d walked through that insane, excitable woman’s front door, he’d known the young woman that would be his co-star and love interest if he got that part would be in his life in some other capacity. He’d hoped for this, but there were times when he wasn’t so sure if that gut feeling had been real, that he didn’t just imagine it in a haze of nervousness, awe, and Vicodin.

“You know, you’ll have a lot time to look at her,” his sister teased him, nodding toward Kristen where she was laughing as she danced with their father.

The tips of his ears reddened at being caught.

Suddenly, a scratchy noise sounded from the speakers, causing several people to hold their ears. Everyone turned to the direction of the noise to find the DJ looking nervously toward an older woman who’d grabbed the mic.

“Hello, wedding guests! Rob and Kristen! I’d say the wedding festivities were beautiful and romantic and made me believe in real love, but I wasn’t invited.”

Shocked faces looked up toward the wedding crasher.

“What the fuck,” the not-so blushing bride uttered.

“Never mind that slight! I was there for the beginning.” Hardwicke leaned in conspiratorially “I even have the video to prove it. Had to get rid of that bed a few years ago though, sadly.”

“Okay, now, that’s enough, Catherine.” Kristen’s dad stepped toward her with Cam and Rob’s friend Sam behind him. “Let’s get you a cab home.”

“I’m fine. I’M FINE. I just… I just wanted to pay my respects.” She slurred slightly. She was a bit loopy, but she appeared to be the same as ever and earnest in her desire to celebrate the nuptials of the couple she’d once warned against. Rob sighed and nodded to John to let her be. She relaxed when she saw John, Cam, and Sam step away, but they stayed close to the stage.

“Thank you. As I was saying, I was there from the start and even then I knew you two would make it. Especially if you survived Twilight, me, Michael, and Nikki. The odds were against you, but you two….” She paused wistfully. “… you two are stubborn as fuck peas in a pod, and I really do feel lucky that I played any part in that determination or whatever it was that fused you both together. That’s all you. To Rob, I’m glad you didn’t listen to my advice on the legal age in the United States. To Kristen, I’m glad you never listened to my advice as well. You’ll both do well in your marriage to mute the the rest of us idiots.” She raised her nearly empty glass. “To the bride and groom!”

Everyone raised their glasses and looked at Rob and Kristen who had their arms around each other as they smiled at their bizarrely welcomed party crasher. Kristen dabbed at her eyes, her fury melted at Catherine’s genuine toast.

“To the bride and groom!” Their friends and family echoed.


	8. Drabble Battle Cuatro How about a drabble where RK do a campaign like Sienna and Tom for Burberry? Like moments from the photoshoot and BTS ;)

“Let’s see some of that explosive chemistry between you two! Think you guys still have it?”

Kristen rolled her eyes at the photographer’s words as Rob laughed. That chemistry. More like Rob fucking with her and then her fucking with Rob. Their chemistry as Bella and Edward was a mutually beneficial session in seduction and torture for their younger selves, but they’d never admit it to each other and especially not the media.

“Explosive chemistry. C’mon, Kris, let’s show him.” Rob teased and pulled her to him by the belt loops on the designer jacket she wore. She looked down and couldn’t hide the blissfully content look on her face when he softly kissed the edge of her hairline. Somewhere the photographer made a pleased sound.

“You’re such an ass,” she whispered.

“And you have a lovely one,” he grunted as his hands snaked their way around her waist.

“Only lovely? Is that a downgrade or an upgrade from robust?”

He snickered and pulled away to twirl her around, pretending to act like a romantic goof for the camera in order to check out her behind.


	9. Drabble Battle UNO Them working together on a new project Hi! can you make one where Rob and Kristen are filming a romantic comedy! Behind the scenes! Thanks!

“I’m not funny,” Kristen whispered as they waited on their marks while their director went over his notes with the grip and his assistant.

Rob looked at her oddly.

“There’s a reason why I’ve mainly done indies and dramas. My funny bone is more dramedy.”

He shook his head and glanced in the direction of the man whose vision they were about to bring to life. “Are you doubting QT? We’ve never done romantic comedy. Neither has he, so either we’ll be in great company and fail massively or … there is no ‘or,’ Quentin wouldn’t have sought us out if he didn’t think it would work.”

She nodded, still not understanding her nervousness. She bounced on the tips of her toes, causing Rob to laugh and to grin widely at her actions.

“What?”

“You … you’re doing your ‘can’t wait for the cameras to roll’ dance.” He chuckled again, shaking his head at the familiarity. “You’re more than ready, funny girl.”


	10. Drabble Battle DOS Can you guys please write a fic about R and K’s reaction to the new magazine saying they’re getting married? The magazine is life & style thanks

Chapter Text

“When we get engaged, we’re not telling anyone.” Kristen flopped down on the couch where Rob sat playing video games. “In fact, let’s never get engaged.”

“Huh?” Rob glanced at her feet propped on the table. “Oh, nothing, mate, just Kristen saying something about getting married.”

“Nothing, mate?” Kristen raised her left brow at his words. Even though his eyes were focused on whatever shooting game he and Tom were conquering this month, the thought behind the brow raise counted. “Hi, Tom!” she shouted in the direction of Rob and his headset.

“You know what I—Oi! You fucker, cover my ass!” Rob cursed as his Halo character took several shots. “Tom says, hullo back.”

Kristen watched Rob playing with annoyed amusement. “I said we’re not telling anyone. And by anyone, I mean everyone. Just you and me and the priest or whatever.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I hope that was about the game and not what I just said because I’m serious. I just got off the phone with your mother.” She sighed. She loved Clare and considered her a mum already, but her pointed questions were seriously giving Kristen anxiety about things that hadn’t happened. “I wouldn’t be able to take the anticipation of a long engagement, wedding planning, and pressure. And what if it doesn’t work out, Rob?”

“It’ll work out fine. Tom agrees. He told me to say that.”

“Thanks, Tom, but what if it didn’t?” She shuddered at the idea of failing. “I wouldn’t be able to tell your mum.”

“Can you hold on, Tom?” Not waiting for a response from his best mate, Rob took off his headset and turned fully toward his worried girlfriend. “What’s got you so bent out of shape?”

“Your mom saw online that we were engaged and it made me think.”

“Don’t think. For me, you’re it. I’ll wait until you’re ready, too.” He leaned and kissed her near her ear, causing her to giggle and squirm at the feel of his beard tickling her. She squeezed her knees together. “And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll break it to my mum personally, but it won’t be necessary.”

“It won’t?”

“Yeah, I just put down a video game for you. I think that means we’re already ahead of the game.”


	11. Drabble Battle TRES Assuming Kristen & Rob took a break, can you write a story where they start hanging out with friends and fall into their old ways, but they are the last to see that they should really be back together

“I’ve brought Goonies and Jaws.” Rob held up the two DVDs as soon as Kristen opened the door.

She eyed him suspiciously, in mock evaluation. “Hmmm and what else do you have to offer me?”

“Sour Patch Kids and Snapple, your highness. If my gifts are pleasing, may you grace me with the comfort of your fine food and company?”

“Aye, kind sir.” Kristen’s voice dripped with a heavy English accent. “You’ve done your part well, you may gain entry.”

“I—“ The corner of Rob’s lips quirked up. “I don’t really want to talk like this for the rest of the night.”

“Oh good, me either.” She closed the door behind him. “But I still win, quitter!”

“Well, shit if I’d known I could’ve won something….” His words faded, realizing he was about to make an inappropriate comment to his decidedly ex-girlfriend—the ex-girlfriend whose house he’d somehow found himself in nearly every night that week as they mainlined movies, her various experiments with recipes that he was always willing to taste test, and gorged themselves on junk food since they were in between projects. “How are you doing?” Rob followed her into the kitchen; his stomach’s interest piqued by the smell in the home.

“I’m great. Better now that I’ve realized something.”

He began putting the Snapple into the fridge. “What did you realize?”

“I felt really excited and antsy all day. Tamra and Alicia both commented on it and how happy I looked, and at first it threw me off because I didn’t feel different, but then I realized I’d been thinking about this recipe I wanted you to try and mentally I was trying to anticipate what films you would bring for tonight. I just … I realized I was looking forward to this.” She blushed slightly glancing at him beneath her lashes. “I was looking forward to seeing you.”

She looked nervously at his face, unsure of what reaction she’d expected by the admission but realizing that his silence was probably not it. She shrugged. “But I don’t want you to think anything of it. I was just thinking that I’m glad that we can be friends, you know? I was missing that, I think.”

She turned around somewhat embarrassed and checked the time. “I made pizza from scratch. All your favorite toppings.”

When she turned back around Rob was directly in her path, his eyes incredibly blue and open. “I look forward to this every day, too. Every day. I’m glad we can be friends, but Kris? I’m missing… I want so much more than that with you.” He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I’ll go prepare the movie.”

He walked away smiling while Kristen looked at his retreating form—stunned.


	12. Drabble Battle Uno One where Rob and kristen are redecorating and things just get like really messy - super cute, fluffy, romantic, maybe a lil smutty

“A little higher on the left, hun.” Kristen smirked at the back of his head as he struggled to comply with her interior design demands. “And just a hair on the right.”

He puffed out some air and peeked as best as he could over his left shoulder. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.” His defined biceps flexed, causing her shrewd eyes to narrow in on the movement.

“And what do you think I’m doing exactly?”

“Psssssh.” He shook his head and shifted a bit to give his arms a break from holding a single position. “Just come over here and do your part, but be careful with the hammer and nail this time.”

Laughing, she started forward when something caught her eye. “Oh my god, Rob… have you been doing squats?”

“What?”

“Your ass…” She tilted her head and squinted. “It looks almost … kind of… it’s protruding?” She giggled and fell backward on their couch covered in items they’d picked to accent the walls or whatever it was that his mother explained. Unable to stop laughing, she managed to say, “Who has the robust butt now?”

Quickly yet taking care to lean the picture they’d been trying to hang for the past 20 minutes against the wall, Rob rushed toward his fiancé. “I’ll show you robust.”

Pouncing forward and caging her in with the biceps he knew she was admiring, he began pecking her with little kisses across her freckles. Her laughter settled into a sigh and she pushed against him, smiling. “Tell the truth. You’ve been targeting your–” the heal of her foot tapped his butt completing her sentence.

His face pinked a bit, but he shook his head. “I’ve been working out, you know this.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“And as for my ass, I disagree. It’s as flat as ever, but I’m glad you like it.” He chuckled, leaning in to kiss her neck.

“Oh, did I say I liked it?” She teased.


	13. Drabble Battle Dos I would like one of Robert being a little bit moody and tired of everything and Kristen makes him feel better

Rob slammed the car door with enough force to make Kristen wince at the noise. Hesitantly, she opened the door to follow, dreading the heavy mood that would quickly fill their home as it had their ride from the airport. She sent a quick message to a friend in case it became apparent that he needed several miles of space for the night and said a quick thanks and an apologetic smile to the driver as he helped her with the bags. Her unease lifted somewhat when Rob came back out to help the driver with their things, and he seemed almost normal as he gave the man a tip. Still, she wasn’t sure what to say when it was just them in their home, and his shoulders hunched as left her in foyer, watching his back.

The paparazzi hadn’t given them a break while they visited friends in New York, but they’d learned to pretend the cockroaches were invisible as long as they kept a distance. The plane ride was quiet yet sweet. She played with his hands as they talked, and then she drifted off as he read. But when she woke and they landed in LA everything felt off. She was so used to everything feeling right when she was home in California that feeling disoriented her, exploding into recognition with every flash and nasty word as they hit the walk from the terminal to the car doors. She couldn’t see much, but she could feel the tension curling in Rob’s body as if it were her own. It was her own.

“Fuck this shit!” Snapping out of her haze, she hurried to wear she heard his screamed curse and something being thrown. She entered the den. He looked up, nose flaring, forehead vein protruding. “I can’t do this, Kris. I can’t keep my head down as these fucking ….” He collapsed on the couch and bent forward with his hands on his knees.

She moved forward until she was in front of him, sat on her needs, and pushed her hands against his shoulders until she could see his eyes. They were watery and red with anger, matching her sadness. “What do you want us to do? I’ll do it.” He squeezed her hands with his own. Knowing she was with him step for step helped him breathe. “I don’t want to without you, so let’s make a plan together just as we’ve always done.”

“Yeah?” His grip tightened, and he smiled a bit at her words. He didn’t want to change without her either. It was what he feared the most, but her words soothed him. They were still on the same page.

“Absofuckinglutely. Should I call Brit and tell her to bring our babies?”

“Actually, can they keep them until tomorrow and let it just be us tonight?”

“Of course.” She kissed the top of his head as she stood and felt reassured that they could salvage the night and every day after.


	14. Drabble Battle TRES Combo: 1) When they first start dating…..<3 and 2) Fluff. Fooling around. [eta/reminder: Kristen grew up around her family’s wolves, one of which is named Lily ;) ]

She brushed up against him with her thigh, causing him to moan against her neck, and she giggled at the sensation and couldn’t stop even as he leaned up and gazed at her in confusion.

“You’re about to give me a complex.”

She burst out, shaking with each guffaw and tried unsuccessfully to catch her breath. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just…” She lost it again and attempted to wipe the tears running down the sides of her face as she laughed uncontrollably.

“Kristen.” He was getting annoyed and her silliness, while adorable, was ruining the mood. They’d been teasing each other all day on set, and he’d been looking forward to making out with the young, previously-so-close-yet-so-far girl of his dreams.

“I’m sorry, but… It’s just that—“ She started giggling again.

“Kristen, I swear, I’m getting up if you can’t stop.”

“All right, all right, you get grumpy when horny, don’t you?” She smiled and ran her fingers up his chest to his neck to pull him closer.

“No, only when I’m not in on some joke you seem to be enjoying more than me.” With a pout, he brushed his lips against hers.

“It wasn’t a joke.” She grinned as she leaned up and pushed him on his back so she could climb over him. “It was a thought that popped into my head about how I’m going to learn every noise you make.” She rocked over him, and liking where his girlfriend was headed, he gripped her thighs and eagerly returned her movement with a thrust. “And how you’ll learn mine.”

“That was funny to you?” He growled a bit as she continued to tease him with her movements, secretly thrilled she took as much pleasure in idea of them discovering more about each other.

“Not exactly.” She bit her lip, considering her words. “It’s just that you sounded exactly like Lily before dinner time.”


	15. Drabble Battle UNO k walking in on r in shower on accident

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry!” Kristen ran back out of the bathroom. When she woke up in his bed alone, she’d assumed he’d gone out for bagels or Poptarts as he’d done before. Sleepily, she wandered into the bathroom, hoping to relieve her bladder as she’d also done before. Their routine was simple, and if she allowed herself to think it—entirely inappropriate.

The door opened behind her, and she could hear him shuffling around the room. She was almost too embarrassed to turn around, but she really did have to pee. “I’m so fucking sorry,” she said immediately as she looked to find Rob in his boxer briefs. She clapped her hand over eyes. “Sorry!”

“Kristen.” He chuckled, reaching out to pull her hand away from her face. “We’ve seen each other in an approximation of this state before,” he reminded her, not only about the scene they’d filmed on Bella’s bed earlier in the week but also their common sleeping attire—her in a tee and panties and him in his boxer briefs.

But at night it hadn’t seemed quite so … naked, she thought.

“It’s fine, Kristen.”

“Yeah. Fine.” Her cheeks warmed at his proximity as she tried to convince herself it was fine, so fine, so entirely fine that her boyfriend in LA would not care at all that she was standing so close to her admittedly attractive co-star, who’d been naked behind her in a towel just moments before. Her brain slowly caught up but not before reminding her of her bladder. “Yeah, I just need to umm… human moment,” she joked.

He moved so she could walk quickly past him, shaking his head with a smirk.


	16. Drabble Battle DOS Drabbbbblessss!!! If you’re still writing…. How about Kristen swimming with sharks in Australia and Rob getting jealous. He goes skydiving to prove that he isn’t a pussy, but ends up freaking out after.

“Kristen, wake up.” She could feel his sweet kisses against her neck, and her breath quickened as he moved further down to her chest. Gasping at the sensation of his breath on her nipples, she arched her back. “Baby, open your eyes. For me, please.”

She groaned when his hand went to work, teasing her—BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” she growled out. Pinching her eyes closed as she continued with her fantasy. Where was she? She settled under the covers and imagined how he’d tease her until she was too worked up to contain her screams. His fingers would enter her, slowly thrusting as his thumb worked against her—BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. “Jesus fucking Christ!”

She tossed the covers off of her and reached out for her phone. “Didn’t I say leave me the fuck alone? I need ME-time. Do you not understand what ME-time means, CJ? It means my boyfriend isn’t here to get me off, so I have to do it myself. Can you please, just please, let me do that?” She instantly regretted her whiny tone, but she hadn’t heard from Rob all week because his shooting location barely had any reception and their schedules never quite lined up these days. She missed his voice and his touch. She sighed. “I’m sorry, C—“

“Not CJ, Kris.” She fell back into the covers at the sound of his voice, both mortified he’d heard her bitching about trying to masturbate and deliriously happy. “So you were…um, fuck, Kris. I want to say… but I’m not alone right now.” He spoke lowly, but she could tell he was probably imagining her state in bed right now.

“No, it’s so good to hear your voice. Why are you calling me right now?” He had to have known she’d more likely to be asleep.

“I had a few bars, so I took a chance… I jumped from a plane today.” He sounded kind of sheepish and yet proud. “I’d called to tease you that plummeting to earth beats being dunked in a cage with some sharks, but….”

“Awwww fuck!” She laughed. “I’m so fucking jealous.”

“Yeah? It’s kind of hard to be triumphant when you’re… you know.”

“Trying unsuccessfully to get off? Yeah, it sucks, but I’m not sure you’re right about jumping from planes beating swimming with sharks. Do me a favor and keep talking. Convince me.”

“Keep talking…?”

“Yeah, you’ve got people around you still, right? So, tell me about what you were thinking about before you jumped, how did it feel, anything.” She gasped as she circled her clit.

“Oh god, are you?”

“Don’t stop.”


	17. Drabble Battle TRES kristen ask marcus and jack some help to record a song for rob’s birthday

Hesitantly, she walked toward the corner where Marcus and Jack were huddled, likely talking about their plan for tomorrow night’s show. She’d wanted to approach them all evening, but it was rare to find them without her other half nearby. She’d never been more irritated about Rob’s attachment to the two men who could help her with her surprise.

“Hey.” She played with the Snapple top in her hands, clicking away her nervousness.

“Hey there, babygirl.” Marcus stood to hug her. “Almost thought you were avoiding me. You’ve barely said a word since we’ve arrived.”

“Ugh, no, really?” She bit her lip. She’d been so busy in her own thoughts she didn’t know what to do or say around the people who knew her best. “I’m sorry, dude, I just—“ She sat down next to him bumped his shoulder with a shrug.

“Look, I kind of need your help.” She confided.

“Oh, I can—“ Jack made a motion as he intended to stand and leave them to a private discussion.

“Oh, no! This involves you, too.” She stared Jack in the eyes, and he looked a bit nervous as he sat back down. She glanced around the room to see if they’d attracted any unwanted attention. Rob was still occupied with CJ and Tamra, so she breathed a sigh of relief.

Turning back to Marcus and Jack, she blew out a nervous breath. “I wrote a song,” she blurted. She quickly shoved the paper in Marcus’s hand. “Can you guys help me record it? It’s for Rob.”

“Kristen, this is…” Jack’s eyes poured over the words on the sheet as Marcus looked at his friend beaming.

“Don’t say anything!” She looked at them shyly, nodding to confirm what her lyrics suggested. “I want it to be a surprise for his birthday. Do you think he’ll be happy?”

“Kristen, he’s going to be motherfucking ecstatic,” Marcus assured her. “I do have one request though…. If it’s a boy, name him after me, yeah?”

She glanced down and giggled, toying with the Snapple top to prevent her hand from touching her stomach. “I don’t know, man. Considering he wants to name his first daughter Roberta, I don’t know if a boy stands a chance, but I’ll try.”


	18. Drabble Battle UNO can you write about Kristen directing a rob pattinson music video and the fluff that would come with that?

He watched as Kristen huddled with her Director Assistant, going over the shooting schedule. Seeing her gesture passionately over some such angle she wanted to capture caused him to grin involuntarily and proudly. He thought he knew her on and off screen, but here, she was in her element.

“How far along is she?”

The voice disrupted his observations of his wife, and he looked startled toward the speaker, confused by the abrupt question. “How far?”

“Months? She pregnant, right?” The woman playing his love interest in the music video smiled, but he couldn’t detect dubious motivations. Still, he was wary of her question. It was still early in the pregnancy, and they’d intended to keep it a secret for much longer. Seeing his hesitation, she raised her hands in surrender. “Sorry. I didn’t realize. Don’t answer. I just … I overheard her getting sick earlier, and she’s been doing a lot of the things my little sis did when dealing with nausea. Ignore me. My lips are zipped.” She slid her pinched fingers across her mouth for added effect.

Rob nodded at her explanation, still not answering her question but trusting she’d say nothing more. He was grateful as his wife made their way toward them and went over her notes. Instructions given, the room came alive as everyone took to their tasks to ensure the shoot went as planned. They’d talked about how the day would run before falling asleep the night before, but it still didn’t prepare him for witnessing both her professionalism and warmth with her crew. He was in awe of this side of her. When he wrote the song and first performed it for her, he’d craved this moment—this story that only they could tell together. It had taken a lot of convincing before she agreed to direct him. From where she stood beside the camera, she smirked at him as if she could read his mind.

“On your mark, Pattinson. And … action!”


	19. Drabble Battle DOS A behind the scenes from the very famous Vanity Fair photoshoot kind of angsty of how they can’t stay away from each other anymore?

His hair was ridiculously wild, and her hands clenched at the desire to grab at it. It had been several weeks since she’d seen him in person. While he was in LA, she’d been on vacation with her boyfriend and several of their friends, including Nikki, who’d kept texting someone any chance she had. Kristen turned to look up at her companion, wondering if it was him. She’d refused to ask Nikki, who seemed to want to be asked, and she’d never taint her relationship with Rob with those sort of questions anyway.

She looked forward and leaned back in his arms allowing their hands to feel and caress. This was a photoshoot to promote their film in which they’d played Bella and Edward, but they weren’t in makeup as Bella and Edward right now. Human and sweating in the sun, they were themselves, and with each touch it was becoming more difficult for her to pretend. She sighed.

“What’s the matter?” He whispered subtly. The photographer continued to click away, demanding more familiarity and intimacy from the stars. Little did he know it was painfully easy.

She shrugged, never answering him fully. He helped her to stand for their next pose. Few words passed between them as they moved from one playful interaction to the next, and sometimes the pain ebbed into their usual silly repertoire until it became withdrawn with the futile resistance of what they couldn’t hide any longer.

The muscles in his forearms to the tendons in his fingers tensed at her waist. It would be so easy to slide down further, his thoughts wandered where his hands couldn’t. He grimaced, willing away the erection he’d most certainly have difficulty hiding if he continued to imagine what he’d prefer to do with the young woman in his arms. He was both grateful and resentful of the photoshoot and the reasons for it.

This time she glanced at him concerned. “What’s the matter?”

“What do you think, love?”

She looked down and pinched her lower lip between her teeth before staring back at the camera in an effort to put her focus anywhere but on them. She felt a whisper of his lips on her skin, and her eyes nearly closed. She wished they could be elsewhere. That this was real. The cameras told her that it wasn’t. Their closeness, his lips, that was all for the camera, the shoot. But that was a lie. She could feel it in the mounting tension between them. They weren’t Edward and Bella. Never had been.

Her hands curled around the base of his neck, and he winked at her as he swung her back and forth in his arms. She studied his face as she considered her next words. It would change everything, but she no longer feared it.

“Meet me after the shoot with the others?” She was dreading the second half of their day with the rest of the cast. She pushed thoughts of Nikki and her insinuations out of her mind. They were going to get to the bottom of everything soon. This was about them; fuck the rest.

He swallowed thickly at the resolve in her eyes and nodded. “Of course.”


	20. Dninja: Drabble Battle TRES Kristen checking out (not really)just appreciating other guys look and Rob getting jealous.. something really sweet pls. thanks

“Dude, how many of those have you had in the last hour?” She bent over laughing at Taylor, who munched on yet another meat patty.

“Six.” He responded between chews and opened his mouth to gross out his friend. “See. Food.”

Kristen fake gagged at the brown mush in his mouth. “I’m not kissing you in this scene unless you fucking use mouthwash.” She shoved at him, but upon feeling the muscle there began to squeeze his bicep. “Shit, you’re fucking steel, son!”

Her other hand wandered to his chest as she patted his pecs.

“Does anyone else see this harassment?” Taylor looked around as if pleading for help, but he grinned at his co-star’s attention to his efforts for the role of Jacob. He was proud.

“I see it.” Rob’s voice sounded from out of nowhere, but Kristen didn’t appear to be remotely ashamed of feeling up her costar and friend in front of her somewhat secret boyfriend.

“Rob, you’ve got to feel this.” She grabbed his hand and put it on Taylor’s abs. She whistled between her teeth. “Have you ever felt anything like it?”

“Nope,” his voice clipped. He quickly removed his hand and slid both into his pockets. “Can’t say I have.”

Taylor’s uneasy laughter at Kristen grinded to a halt, and he looked at Rob uncomfortably. He knew enough about their relationship after catching them on accident. “It’s just for the film.” He shrugged. “I’ll be back to my non-Jacob routine as soon as we wrap up the series completely.”

“Awww… and then bye bye, meat patties.” Kristen pouted and gave Taylor’s abs one last pat before she turned to Rob. She eyed him with a brow raised. “How many of those would you eat for a role?”

He struggled to look indifferent, but inside he felt like she was jabbing at his body and his commitment to a part. “Depends on the director, I guess.”

She studied his face trying to place the oddness she saw there before laughing tenderly. She placed her arms around him, not caring what onlookers would make of the scene. “Awww, you know you’re my flippy and I love you just as you are. I love your body. Your love handles are my love handles. This one right here is my lasagna. And this one…” She patted his side affectionately. “Is my strawberry tartlets.”

He smiled at that and returned her hug, removing his hands from his pockets to squeeze her closer. “Mmm, stop making me hungry. What would you do if I went on an all meat patty diet? Who would taste your recipe experiments then, hmm?”

“Well, then I’d make you a cooler full of meat patties every morning, and I’m sure Tom, Sam, and Marcus wouldn’t mind the extra padding.”

He hummed and kissed the top of her head, loving that she thought of feeding his best friends. “I have to warn you… Tom is picky as fuck. Just do me a favor and not feel up Taylor. No offense, Taylor.”

“None taken.” The boy laughed grateful Rob wasn’t truly upset and took another forced bite of his regrettable nutritional torture device, wishing for the day he could take part in enjoying the fruits of Kristen’s kitchen. As a friend, of course.


	21. Drabble Battle UNO (y sólo) can u write about r wearing ellen underwear and k gets jealous cuz he’s wearing someone else’s name on his underwear so he gets underwear with her name? fluffy please :-)

Glancing up from her book, Kristen fought a grin as Rob toweled off and cursed as he looked through his bag for something to wear.

“I told you not to slack off on packing. Did you forget socks again?”

“No.”

“Shirts?”

“No.” His eyes narrowed at her. “But if that were the case, I wouldn’t have to search far for a shirt to wear, would I?”

She shrugged innocently, knowing that at least five of the shirts in her bag were technically his. Technically. “Finder’s keepers. And don’t change the subject. I know you forgot something, so out with it.”

He sighed. “My boxer briefs… you wouldn’t happen to have—?”

“Nope. All mine this time. You could try to wear them, but I’d doubt…”

“Yeah, no.” He grimaced at the discomfort from the last time he’d attempted to wear his girlfriend’s underwear. To say it was snug would be an understatement. “Guess I’m going commando this trip.”

He chuckled while searching all the zip pockets and raised an eyebrow out what he’d found buried in a random compartment. “Well, looks like I owe Ellen a thank you.”

“Oh.” She watched as he slipped them on and saw the name emblazoned across his ass. “How about commando though? Like, think about how much fun we could have with that.”

He looked at her curiously as she picked at a loose thread on the blanket. Concluding something, he smiled and tossed his bag on the floor to crawl toward her. “Kris… Oh, Krisssss,” he sing-songed. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

“Psssssh, I don’t do jealousy.” She refused to look up at his teasing.

“So, it doesn’t bother you that Ellen’s underwear is hugging my dick right now?” He leaned in close to her face, so she couldn’t avoid looking at his glinting eyes and stupidly smug grinning face.

“Psssssh, why would that bother me? It’s just fabric from a woman who likes women.”

“True, but you keep saying pssssssh and you only do that when you’re bothered.” He moved in to kiss her frowning lips.

“Well, I’m not. Bothered.” She kicked out her leg and twisted her neck, so he’d only catch her cheek. “But good luck getting laid in those, buddy.”

“Oh, so I’m not getting laid and you won’t let me kiss you because you’re not suddenly pissed for no good reason?”

She shrugged and looked over his shoulder in lieu of his face. She didn’t want this to become a fight, and she could tell he was more upset after she’d avoided his kiss. But at the same time, she couldn’t explain her reaction to seeing that underwear on him. Rolling her eyes at herself and him and this ridiculous fight about underwear, she stretched so she could peck him on his pouty mouth. “There. I kissed you. Now drop it.”

He automatically smiled in reaction to her kiss, but he couldn’t drop it. “Just tell me why you’re mad.”

She groaned, knowing he’d keep pestering her until she talked. “I’m not mad. I’m just…. look, I wear your things, your gifts, and you can see how you’re visible in my life, my thoughts, when we’re apart, but you can’t wear anything of mine. I don’t get to see anything on you where everyone else can see it and think, he’s taken. And yes, I realize it’s just underwear and no one can see it, but how the fuck can someone else mark you and I can’t? Ughhhhh, don’t listen to me. It’s dumb.”

“Kris, it’s not dumb, and you do mark me.” He sprinkled little kisses along her neck. “You’re in all of the smiles that fans and the media try to dissect. You’re in the phone I keep in my hand, waiting for your next message. You’re in the shirts and hats you buy me all the time. Without you, I wouldn’t have the clothes I have for you to steal. What do you want?” He whispered against her lips before vigorously kissing her, causing her to forget the other woman’s name across his ass.

He pulled away and searched her eyes. “You want me to have some made with your name on them? You want me to get a tattoo of your face on my arm?”

“Hmmmm no.” Her fingers skimmed down his stomach as she caught her breath. “I’m happy knowing that I have you just like this…. but if you want to invest in Kstew undies, I’d be cool with it.”

Laughing into her neck, he caused her to squirm and giggle. “Yeah, I’d be cool with that, too.”


	22. Drabble Battle UNO I would love to read something about naked R walking around the house and K doing something in the kitchen and the OG barge in their house that surprised R

Kissing his girl’s freckled shoulder, Rob stifled a giggle and pulled her closer with a groan as his shoulder cracked at the effort. The kitchen floor was not as comfortable as their bed, but seeing her shake that robust ass while her too short t-shirt became soaked from washing the dishes made him one-track minded, aching knees, muscles, and back be damned.

“One day you’re going to be too old for this, y’know.” Kristen ruffled his hair and sighed as she attempted to stand and stretch. “Sooner than me.”

He admired her lithe muscles as he sat up against the cabinets and watched her redress. He was in no hurry to do the same. As far as he was concerned, he was a majestic lion and this home was his kingdom. “Speak for yourself,” he joked. “We’ll just have to keep our kitchens stocked with pillows.”

“Uh huh, we’ll see.” She raised her brow and motioned for him get up and moving. “I still have a meal to cook and it’ll be much easier without your naked ass and balls on my kitchen floor.”

“You weren’t complaining 10 minutes ago.” Still he stood, knowing that their time alone would soon be up. “Okay, I’m standing, but I’m not dressing. I still have 30 minutes of freedom and I intend to use it. Naked.” He kissed her head before waltzing to the door, gathering the clothes he’d shed in a hurry.

“Oh, okay, buddy.” She teased, grabbing the squash and onions for her sauce. “But you better make that 15!” she hollered after him as he exited the kitchen. She laughed at his slight shake of his hinny and shook her head, being careful to not cut herself in her amusement.

“AHHHHHH HOLYSHIT!”

Kristen dropped her knife and ran out the kitchen toward the commotion, only to see her pale fiancé’s backside escaping toward their room and her friends’ shocked faces.

“We knocked,” Suzie said with wide eyes. “And then we used the spare key.”

“Dayum, girl, I didn’t know he was packin’…” CJ trailed off when he saw the look on her face. “You’re just so tiny! OUCH, ho!” He rubbed his side where Kassie jabbed him with her elbow.

“Sorry, I tried to tell these fools that it’s just as rude to arrive too early as it is to arrive late.” Kassie raised up the 12 pack of Rob’s favorite beer in silent offering as the now fully dressed Rob made his way back to the foyer.

“Let’s just forget this ever happened.” Rob rubbed the back of his neck. “And if CJ could please stop staring at my junk, that would help immensely.”

“Sorry, man, but I’ll never think of the phrase ‘eyes on the prize’ the same way again because damn, Stewie, you win all the prizes.”


	23. Drabble Battle DOS Rob thinking bout proposing to Kristen during the BD2 premier

She was always in the corner of his eye and as a result at the forefront of his every thought as they walked the red carpet, stopping for interviews and photographs together and apart. This was their big night, and despite the promo days ahead in other countries, he couldn’t help feeling like this night was the true end of an era. He could still recall their first premiere for Twilight, and how far she’d felt as a possibility, how painful it was to look at her and know that his time with her was limited. Back then, he didn’t mind the spotlight if it was the only space he could hold her close. Now she was his, and he wanted to whisk her away and never share her.

They caught each other’s eyes and smiled at each other in their secretive bubble way. That bubble hadn’t thinned or shrunk, but his fingers twitched and he felt agitated like he couldn’t control where his hands would drift when they’d occasionally be allowed to pose close to each other. His throat felt heavy with a lump and everything he wanted to say when only her ears would hear them. He leaned in close and opened his mouth, smelling and tasting her scent before he spoke.

“Don’t,” she whispered.

He pulled back and faced the cameras.

“I know what you’re thinking, and I’m not saying I’m not there, too, but please please not here. I wouldn’t be able to handle it, and I don’t want that to be tied to them, so just not right now.”

He nodded and smiled the camera, grateful that her grip on his jacket never lessened.

“Not here, but some time, someplace else and soon?” He grinned down at her.

“Fuck yes.”


	24. Drabble Battle TRES Hi! Could you write about Rob running into an ex while he is in London and she asks him out? She goes to a magazine telling the world that Rob and Kris are back together and Rob calms Kris down after she reads the article?

Rob looked at the picture on his phone with a curse. For most of his visit with friends in London, he’d been free of the cursed paparazzi, but of course, they’d been present as he and his friends stumbled out of the pub. And of course, one of the shots they got included a familiar female face just behind him, his ex-girlfriend Nina.

“Yeah, mate, they’ve already spun it so that you two were hookin’ up all evening inside the show. Fuckin’ shits.” Marcus plopped down with a bowl of cereal.

“I said maybe three things to her inside.” Rob threw his phone down in disgust. He was trapped by tabloids and public opinion even when nothing happened.

“Yeah, I saw that.” Marcus glanced up his friend with a mix of concern and curiosity. “What was that about anyway?”

“Nothing,” Rob shrugged. “I mean, it was just awkward but easy, catching up? She asked if I wanted to meet up later while I’m in town.”

“Huh.” Marcus looked at his bowl.

“Don’t be like that… Fuck.” Rob scrapped his palms over his face. “She was definitely implying something more than meeting, and I’d be lying if saying yes didn’t cross my mind, but I said no thanks. Fuck, you’re worse than my mother.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Marcus raised his spoon in defense.

“I swear you hang out with Kristen too much… you both don’t have to say anything.” Rob shook his head with a sad smile.

His friend shrugged. “I’ve been accused of worse. What are you so anxious about? So, an ex hit on you, and you said no. Who gives a fuck what stories are out there? You know, Kristen isn’t the type to be concerned about that.”

“She isn’t, but it doesn’t mean I want stories out there.” Rob groaned as he received an incoming text. “We haven’t… we haven’t said we’re exclusive again, but I don’t want her to think that just because we haven’t said that I’m out running amok with other girls.”

I was accosted by some reporter this afternoon and told him that nothing of the sort happened, that you’re very much devoted to someone else. I know you guys like to keep silent, but I had to say something. You look happy, great. I wish you guys the best, Robbie. She’s a lucky girl. - Nina

He cracked his first smile after reading her text, hopeful that maybe she helped kill this story before it went too far. He fired off a reply. “You’re right, Marcus. All I have to do is talk to Kristen.”

“Of course, I am. Now if you fuckheads would listen to me more often.”

“Fuckheads? I swear you two talk too much without me. I don’t like it.” Rob pouted, jokingly

Thank you. But I’m the lucky one. - Rob


	25. Drabble Battle UNO kristen has her pms. And she becomes bitchy and gets jealous of Rob/Katy or Rob/with anywoman even Nettie and Michaela.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Kristen rushed into the house leaving her boyfriend trailing behind her. She tossed her keys, not caring that they slid off the table and onto the floor. He found her pacing and muttering to herself in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong now, Kris?” He grabbed two bottles of water and sat down, placing one on the table top for her. “What did I do? What the fuck did I say this time?”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes, with her left hand grasping her right shoulder protectively. “I’m so fucking—“ She groaned and rubbed her eyes with the palms of her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, but she was tired and she couldn’t stop her reactions. “Do they have to fucking touch you all the time?”

“What?” His eyes bulged out. “Who? Who was touching me?”

“Nettie… Katy… Shannon… Everyone but fucking me!” She rolled her eyes and imitated the interactions she’d witnessed throughout their evening out among their friends. With a toss of her hair over her shoulder and a giggle, she trailed her hands over an imaginary figure. “Oh, Rob, you’re so silly. Remember that time… Oh, Kristen, too bad you weren’t around when Rob…”

Done with her display, she glared at him with her eyebrow raised as he laughed. “It’s not fucking funny! I’ve got metaphorical restraints on my public interactions with you, but meanwhile, everyone can touch you.”

“Kris, listen to yourself. You know your touch means something entirely different. You’re talking about our friends. OUR friends. You love Nettie and Katy and Shannon just as much as I do.”

“Aha! So you admit you love them! Our friends. Our very hot, attractive, handsy friends who apparently have shared some awesome memories that they keep shoving in my face like… What the fuck? Why are you laughing? I’m pissed!”

Standing and walking toward her, Rob grinned. “You are pissed. How much have you had to drink tonight?”

“Shut the fuck up. I’m not drunk. I see things all too clearly, buddy.”

“Uh huh. And you’re clearly irrational with jealousy. OUCH.” His bicep smarted from where she smacked him.

“Don’t call me irrational or jealous. I know what I saw and they—“

“Love you,” he interrupted whatever ridiculous notion she was about to say. “And yeah, maybe they love me. Like a brother and not how we love each other. So, they have stories of occasions when you haven’t been there.” He shrugged. “How many stories do CJ, Suzie, Kass, Alicia, and Jess have that make me wish I was there when I couldn’t be because of work or other commitments?” He crouched down to look her in the eye as he wiped the tears from her face. “You know I’m right.”

“I hate it.”

“I know, baby. I do, too.” He pulled her in for a hug. “But I love those stories and hearing people who love you want to share that with me. It makes me love you more.”

He pulled back to hear whatever she was saying into his shirt. “I love that, too. I was just—“she let out a sigh and looked at his forehead, knowing he was going to crow with her admission—“jealous.”

“Care to repeat that?”

“Shut up.”

“You know what they don’t get to share though?”

She looked at him in a way that told him that she was listening.

“The make-up sex we’re about to have.”

“They better not.” She smiled as he dragged her in the direction of their room.


	26. Drabble Battle DOS Hey, here’s my request: their daughter getting her first period and Rob is the only parent at home. Include Kristen’s reaction when she comes home/Rob calls her (:

“Honey, it’s dad. Are you okay?” Rob looked worriedly at the door knob as he listened for his baby girl’s response. She was thirteen, but she was still his baby.

“Can you call mom? Or Aunt Lizzy or Suzie?”

“Okay. Okay, whatever you need.” He frowned, hurt that she didn’t want him. “But can you let me know that you’re okay? You’d be surprised at what your dad can handle.”

Suddenly, the door cracked open. He smiled and breathed a sigh of relief until he saw the displeased look on her face. “Geesh, dad! I got my fucking period, and no offense, I’d rather talk to a lady about lady business. Is that cool with you?”

“I um… yeah, okay. Okay, um, yeah, what do you need? Pads? Tampons? Are you too young for tampons? Have you and mom already talked about what this means? You’re a woman now. Fuck, already? Baby, I’m sorry, were you crying in there? You look like you’ve been crying.” His eyes examined her face to make sure she was really fine.

“Dad. Listen to me. Calm down. Call mom, and I don’t know, Google it. We can handle this. Millions of girls deal with this shit all the time.” She let out a groan. “And now I’m one of them. Joy.”

“You’re not happy? You’re a woman now.”

“Ugh, stop saying that. Fuck no. I’ve got a game tomorrow, and now I’ve got to deal with cramps on top of a shit first baseman.”

“Oh.” Rob laughed. She was still his tomboy with a foul mouth. For now. “Well, I’ll call mom, and you ummm…”

“Don’t bleed to death? Yeah, got it, dad. Thanks.” She shut the door in his face.

Nearly tripping down the stairs to retrieve his cell phone, Rob yelled out, “And I hope you chill with the language when in public, young lady. We don’t need people thinking we’re mucking up parenthood.”

He dialed his wife, but since she was working on set, his call was directed to voicemail. “Babe, call me back asap. It’s happened. Our boy is officially a woman. Are tampons safe for her or should I go to the store for pads or one of those weird cuppy things from that commercial? Fuck, please call soon. Love you.”

After 10 minutes, his phone began to buzz.

Omg! Our baby! Shit. Fuck. I wish I could be there rn. I have a package in our closet above the coats for this very thing. Give that to her and she’ll know what to do. There’s ice cream in the fridge. And let her pick a movie to watch, and just be normal! Don’t tell her she’s a woman now. Whatever you do, that’s not cool. – K

Love you, too. - K


	27. Drabble Battle UNO RK presenting best kiss at the mtv movie awards

“Are you sure about this?” Rob grasped Kristen’s pinky with his own. They hadn’t been seen together in public in five years. There’d been plenty of rumors and tabloids linking them with each other and other people—close friends and randoms. So many randoms.

She exhaled with a groan and nodded despite the uncertainty. She knew exactly what would happen when they walked out on-stage to present the award they’d won so many times together that they’d pleaded to not be considered for the last film in The Twilight Saga. There had been so much hype and expectation at the time that it had become a source of anxiety: the award for Best Kiss.

When both Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had been confirmed to be in attendance, the typical gossip blogging and commenting ensued. Would they sit together? Would they bring dates? Would they be each other’s dates?

They’d bypassed the red carpet entry and sat within rows of each other. Rob was accompanied by his sister Lizzy while Kristen was seated with her friend CJ who distracted her by making ridiculous faces whenever he knew the cameraman was focusing on them.

They heard the screams and applause of the crowd before the backstage attendant gave them the signal to walk out. Harnessing her last minute nerves to get through the next few minutes, Kristen gave a bright, albeit nervous, smile and wave to their fans. Not much had changed about the two awkward actors when faced with this part of the job.

“Sooo… what have you been up to, old buddy?” She winked and tried not to ball her hands into fists and fold her arms.

“Not much.” He leaned into the mic, eyeing her speculatively. “You know… I’m kind of concerned because I haven’t been nominated for one of these in a while. I’m starting to think you were carrying me all those years. It’s enough to give a guy a complex.”

“Hmmm… I don’t know, I’d have to ask.” She searched the crowd for familiar faces. “Dakota? Nic? Have you guys been nominated with anyone other than me?” The audience laughed at the responses of her friends and former co-stars in the crowd.

“You were nominated, but you haven’t won since you kissed me either, so….?” He stepped closer to her, causing a few squeals in the audience.

“So, what?” She looked into his eyes, allowing herself to be sucked in again in front of viewers.

“So, maybe you’re slightly better but still only half as good without me.” He leaned forward and the audience nearly jumped for joy at finally getting the moment they’d waited for years ago.

Before their lips could touch, she turned her face quickly and spoke into the microphone. “Heh, maybe, but tonight’s about a few other really good kissers. The nominees are….”

She snickered into his chest as the crowd groaned at being fooled again. The lights had dimmed a bit as everyone watched the best kiss clips.

“You enjoy being so fucking cruel,” he whispered as he pulled her in closely for a hug.

“Yeah, but you like it.” She leaned up to kiss him softly, but the small peck became much deeper until the cheers and laughter of their audience pulled them apart. They sheepishly tried to play off the moment as if it were part of the act and announced that year’s winner for Best Kiss.

Nobody would remember who won after the kiss that stole the show, but everyone would debate whether that was the first or one of many kisses that the incredibly private actors shared that evening and all of the years before and after.


	28. Drabble Battle DOS Rob & Kristen at In-N-Out Burgers and Rob teasing Kristen about something :)

“Dude, you’re so gonna love this! How have you never?” She tsk’d under her breath. Whomever had given Rob the LA great Cali-Americana tour neglected the most essential stop of all time: the legendary, el gastro-grandioso In-N-Out Burger! “This should be your first and your last stop in LA. This and the taco stand over on…” She paused at the blank look on his face. “Ohmyfuckingod, you’ve never been? Dude! Who have you been hanging with?”

Her English co-star shrugged his shoulder. “Actresses?”

“Ugh, fuckin’ actresses.” She shook her head in mock outrage. “Well, we’re remedying that shit today, sir. You’re mine.”

“Okay.” He grinned harder at her words. He’d settle for being hers to feed.

“Next time you can try whatever you want, but this time, you’re getting it animal style.”

He shook his head to clear it of the images her innuendo laden words had inspired, and she shot him an innocently knowing look that further confused him. She still had a boyfriend, right? She drove up to the window and placed their orders, only turning to him to see what drink he wanted.

“So, who were these actresses?”

“Hmm?” He peeked into the bags she’d shoved on his lap and started to grab some fries.

“Hey, asshole! You better not short me any fries.” She looked at him from the corner of her eye and reached out to punch his shoulder.

“Ouch. Fuck. You want some?” He mumbled around a bite of his burger. “Damn, that’s good.”

“Right?! I’m so pissed at you—eating while I’m stuck driving. You so need to get a license here. I love ya, but I can’t chauffeur your ass around every day.”

“I could feed you?” He eyed the monstrosity in his hands, pretending her use of the word love didn’t rattle his core. “How are you able to eat this anyway? You’re so … tiny.”

“You’d be surprised how much I can fit in my mouth.” She immediately started laughing, knowing how dirty that must’ve sounded to her passenger. “Don’t.”

“I didn’t say anything.” He guffawed. He hadn’t needed to say anything; their minds were already there.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” She swore under her breath at the traffic and her own ridiculous jealousy. “Don’t think I haven’t picked up on your avoidance of a certain question.”

He paused from his exploration of his new favorite meal. “What question?”

“Actresses? The ones who failed to give you an accurate culinary tour?”

“Ohhhhhhh.” He took another bite and chewed thoughtfully before swallowing. “A few friends… and friends of friends, nobody special.”

“Nobody?”

“Well, there was this one girl….”

“Oh.” She stared blankly ahead, reading the bumper sticker of the car in front of her. Watch out for the idiot behind me.

“Yeah, skinny little thing, but man, could she eat. Donuts, pizza, burgers, sushi: you name it, she’ll probably eat it.” He smiled at how her tense posture relaxed as his words clued her in on the woman in question.

“Sounds like that girl has problems.”

“Yep.” He pushed some fries toward her open mouth and watched her chew before grabbing some more. ”She really just needs something in her mouth.”


	29. Drabble Battle UNO Domesticstew. Kristen doing robs laundry for the the very 1st month they move on in together and she made comments etc lol

Her parents and her friends had warned her when she and Rob announced that they were going to move forward in their relationship and invest in a shared space outside of the temporary refuge of hotel rooms, but she had brushed it off. Growing up with boys in and out of her parents’ home, what did she have to be concerned about? Living with her boyfriend of three years would be no different. If anything, working and spending so much time together on and off set had informed her of all his quirks. Well, maybe 60% of his quirks.

She grinned to herself as she thought over their first week as a live-in couple as she carried their basket of dirty clothes. It wasn’t a seamless transition. Her eyes furrowed as she remembered all the crumbs he’d leave in the kitchen and den but the conniption he nearly had the first time she brought a snack with her while she read scripts in bed. She shook out his jeans and unraveled his dirty socks, trying not to inspect them too closely before tossing them in with the rest of the wash. She handled the remainder of his underwear and sweat stained clothes and slammed down the lid.

Love was seeing another person’s crusty workout socks and still wanting to kiss them. Still, she would need a few hours to pretend to forget. Fiddling with the buttons, she felt familiar arms wrap around her torso and his beard nuzzle her neck.

“Robert.”

“Kristen.” He kissed her ear with a smile. “Did you just do our laundry in our home?”

She squirmed and wrinkled her nose in distaste as she remembered, but his heavy emphasis on “our” gave her an idea. With a shrug, she turned into his embrace. “New rule: for every load of laundry I do, you forfeit a shirt.”

“What?”

“Exactly. Thirty-four is the number of times I asked myself that question while sorting out our clothes. Your shirts are mine, buddy!”

He tilted his head back with a laugh because she’d steal his clothes regardless and nodded as his hands teased her sides causing the shirt she wore to ride up further. “Okay. Deal, but every shirt I forfeit is a shirt I can take off of you whenever I want.”

“Just remember this moment when you wonder where all your clothes went.” She gave his chin a peck and ran off to their bedroom with him close behind.


	30. Drabble Battle DOS Kristen returns from the 2010 Letterman interview (the awkward one w/ the wolves debate) and R/friends support her.

“What the fuck was that?” Kristen whispered to Ruth as they gathered their things to exit. “I mean, it’s not all in my head, right? That was….” She shook her head, and she could literally predict what people would nitpick about that 10 minute segment. Ultimately, it was done, in the past. She had no regrets and couldn’t think of anything she could’ve done or said differently. She had more interviews to do and couldn’t let her thoughts linger there. So, the old guy had a bone to pick with wolves and wolf-hybrids. Fuck him.

“After the last time…” Ruth muttered and glanced at the intern who’d prepped them for the show awkwardly hovering near the door. “Later.”

“Uhhh, hello, Ms. Stewart. Mr. Letterman just wanted to thank you for being on the show again and hopes you’ll come back soon.”

She raised her eyebrows and kept her mouth shut but nodded politely and said a quiet thank you as they made their final exit. It wasn’t that girl’s fault that her boss was an asshole.

“Never again, Ruth.” She groaned. “We gave them a second chance. He made me feel stupid even though I was correct the first time I was on the show, and this time, he fucking lectured me about my mom’s pets. I’m not doing his show again. I’ll do every single show on every single continent but his.”

“Trust me. After this appearance, your fans and Summit won’t have a problem with that.”

Kristen nodded and sent a quick text to Rob, who’d known how on edge she was about that appearance in particular before her phone began to ring.

“Ruth told me while she watched that you might need some cheering up.”

“Oh, really?” She feigned a glare in her publicist’s direction, but Ruth pretended not to notice as she was on her on phone call.

“Mmmhmm, Marcus still thinks you should’ve shown him pictures of your road trip. You could’ve told him how people invented ferries, which allow people and vehicles to cross the English Channel.”

“Oh, yeah, that would’ve gone over so much better than the debate we had about ranchers and wolves.”

“Whoa, it got that heavy? Last year, he makes you out to feel uneducated and now you’re insensitive to the plights of the common man.”

“Yep, you know what they say about Kristen Stewart. She’s a fucking–”

“–beautiful, talented actress who loves all animals and can make a mean loquat? Yep, I know the one. I kind of love her. Just a smidge.“

"Ugh, you’re such a sap.” She giggled. “Thanks for that.”

“I try to be romantic once a month, but get back here and make me a loquat, woman!”

“Watch it, or I’ll have my mother feed you to the wolves.”


	31. Drabble Battle UNO Hey! Can u write something like the honeymoon in bd, when Edward is pissed at himself bc he hurt Bella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with what the requester wanted… mainly because it’s hard for me to imagine R/K being or doing anything remotely similar to E/B or Twilight, so… here is as close as it gets.

He swallowed her gasps with each thrust of his hips and arch of her back; her hips cradled in the palms of his hands. For once, he was silent and controlled while she was the one loud and slick with sweat. As his need tumbled forward he held her tighter, harder, faster…. It had been too long, too many days apart, at her request, and maybe he was a bit pissed. He’d heard her disappointed and distant tone when he’d called and delayed their last reunion. She’d held all the cards, and even though he was punished as well, he wanted to prove something by choosing to go out instead of having another clandestine meeting at one of the houses in separate cars. They weren’t separate now, he thought as he shifted his angle just so knowing exactly how her eyes would roll and her mouth would fall open. She would be embarrassed to see herself so unguarded, but that face stayed with him every time and needed to see it before another stretch of time apart. It made him smile as she pulled at his neck to kiss him. She wanted him closer, and he knew that she was his and he was rooted in her and she in him even as they slept in separate beds, drove in separate cars to separate houses to live their seemingly separate lives. Even in separation, they were entwined.

His eyes opened when a door slammed. Every part of him ached. He cleared his throat to test it.

“Kristen?” He pulled himself up enough to sit on the edge of the bed, not ready to carry his own weight. “Kris–?”

Her glare as she exited the bathroom made him pause, and he remembered the previous night. Her face, their bodies coming together, it caused something in his belly to tighten. “Shi—Kris? Was I too–?”

He was going to say rough until she raised an eyebrow and smiled.

“You know next time you send me texts about how you’re going to have me begging for your cock and tease me all fucking night while you were out with your boys, you could warn me if it’s going to be in your dreams.” She laughed as she ran her fingers through his beard, causing his head to tilt upward. “It seemed good for you though. How was I?”

“What are you—you mean, we didn’t?”

“Well, I didn’t, but by the sounds of your grunts and how you kept moving around in your sleep, it looked like Dream Robbie and Kris were having fun.”

“Shit, baby. I’m sorry. I was just so—“

“Exhausted and drunk and kind of upset….” She sighed, looking away. “I get it. I miss you, and I want you, too. I heard you loud and clear last night.”

“Did you get any sleep?” He winced at the thought of some of love wounds he’d imagined them inflicting on each other.

“Oh, I did.” She smiled coyly. “After helping myself out a little.”

He groaned and rested his forehead on her chest as she laughed and continued caressing his head and neck.

“How about after your last promo we plan a vacation—just you and me?”

“I’d like that.”


	32. Drabble Battle DOS Could you write about Rob’s first album release party and him dedicating the album to his wife, Kristen?

“You’re looking greener than me.” With his knee, Rob nudged his wife’s legs that were spastically dancing to the beat of her own nerves.

She shook her head. “No, I’m just anxious.”

She wasn’t the least surprised when her husband first came to her with his intentions to record and release a whole album. After years of denying it to himself, fans, and the media, he couldn’t suppress the desire to create a complete and living album of the songs he’d been writing for the last year and a half. Even if he never pressed a single album again, even if his haters eviscerated him and his hard work, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it or to care what others thought. It was something he did for himself and the woman to his right.

“And proud,” she continued while pulling his hand into her lap with a squeeze. “I’m looking forward to hearing all of it from start to finish with everyone. Seeing their faces.”

She grinned as their car pulled up to the private club hosting the listening party. Their friends, Rob’s music contacts, and several reviewers were inside. “Ready?”

He was, and as soon as they entered, he was swallowed up by everyone who wanted a moment with Robert Pattinson: musician. Kristen wandered off, letting everyone have this moment. This was his night. There was a time when their walking into an event hand-in-hand would’ve stolen the show, but it had long since passed. Watching the man that she knew was the one within moments of sitting awkwardly in Catherine Hardwicke’s living room, she was grateful to be around to witness how he came into his own.

“Have you heard it yet?”

She let her eyes cut away from her husband’s tall frame and to the stranger beside her. The woman looked familiar, and when recognition hit her, it didn’t burn like she thought it would. She’d accepted their pasts long ago, and so did he. “I’ve heard a few songs.”

That was all she was willing to share. Despite being available for millions of ears and further analysis from friends and strangers, nobody would ever know what it meant to her and to him in quite the same way. It was personal. Truth was as soon as it was complete, Rob gave it to her, and she shut herself in a room to listen to it alone, and she cried.

“You’re incredibly lucky. He’s a good man, and his love for you is… well, you know better than anyone.”

Kristen nodded. She knew. “Thanks.” She wanted to say something but couldn’t bring herself to say anything that could take her away from celebrating the reason for this night. She felt the woman leave her side to congratulate Rob. She studied their interaction and saw nothing more than friendship and mutual respect, and perhaps a little awkwardness when his eyes drifted to hers as if to ask, “Are you okay? Is this okay?” And she was; it was. Her jitters about this night were gone.

A few other people approached her with similar questions and comments, and she breathed a sigh of relief when a familiar hat appeared and saddled next to where she leaned against a wall and watched the crowd below. He tucked his hands into his pockets and stood quietly like that for several minutes.

“I hope you know that I’m his number one groupie even if the album is dedicated to you.”

“And about me. Every. Song. Don’t forget that bit, Tom.” She pitched forward to laugh at their competiveness over Rob. “You can get the next one.”

“And you’re okay with that? Your husband writing songs for his best mate?”

She shrugged, feigning indifference. “Hey, I’ve got my album for life and the man until death. You might have to deal with the grief from the other lads though.”

“Didn’t think of that. This thing between Robbie and me might upset Sam.”

“Oh, poor Sam.” She giggled.

“I’ve missed this, you and him. Us.”

“You should come over more. Bring the wife and kiddos. Our dogs don’t bite … humans.”

“What about paparazzi?”

“Those aren’t humans.”

“Ex-girlfriends?”

“Ha ha,” she said dryly.

“That wasn’t awkward?” He asked referring to her earlier interaction.

“Was it supposed to be?” She smirked, knowing that of course it was supposed to be. “Wait… you were watching?”

“Krissy, everyone was watching. Pretty sure it was the second most anticipated moment of the night.” He laughed. “Even for Rob, but he didn’t stare. Too much.”

“Oooh, was he jealous?”

“Are you now?”

Kristen tilted her head to consider it. She was possessive as was Rob, and jealousy was normal despite not being the grown-up response. “No. At least not in that way and not how people would think. Or how the tabloids will write it tomorrow.”

Her nose scrunched up at that thought. Would they have the two women having a stand-off or better yet slapping each other as Rob pulled them apart? She shook her head at the possible ridiculous things sources would say.

“I get that.” And he did, and not just because intellectually and emotionally, Kristen could’ve been his twin sister but also because he had a wife who people drifted toward and felt light around while he preferred to be quiet and off to the side, observing and supporting her nature, loving how people loved and wanted to love her, and knowing that he was the one to go home with her and be her family.

“I know.”

She watched her husband as he watched his best friend, and they couldn’t be prouder or more eager to see him shine.


	33. Drabble Battle UNO (and only) RK having a fight because of his LA friends? I really don’t like them lol. Maybe something like she hearing nasty comments about her from them; he doesn’t believe her at first but then he hears them and defends her

“You’re going out?” Kristen’s entrance into the hall causes him to jump, and he lets out a sigh before nodding and searching for his keys. “It’s fine.”

Her curious tone shifts to an abruptness as stiff as his hunched shoulders.

“Kris…” he starts. “They really aren’t all that—”

“Look. I didn’t say shit. You’re the one all—” She changes her stance to exaggerate his furrowed brow and sagged posture. “It’s fine. It’s so fucking fine, dude. I’m beyond it.”

“You say that, but saying you’re so fucking fine doesn’t inspire much faith that you actually are.” His clenched teeth withholds words that would turn this into a full-blown fight.

“Well, then listen to my words and not whatever they’re inspiring in you, dude.” She crouches down to be on the same level as the puppy circling her legs and scratches its ears. “I’m fine. It’s fine. We’re all fine, right, buddy?” She talks sweetly to the Cole. “Go have your fun. Really, Robert.”

Avoiding what she imagines to be her boyfriend’s frustrated, angry face, she keeps her eyes focused on the dog and continues to play with her furry baby, who’s oblivious to the tension of a fight trying not to be. It’s not long before he leaves without another word.

–

“Vodka. Neat.” Rob orders as soon as the waitress approaches, but before she turns to leave he stops her and adds a beer to his tab as well.

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

“Beer before liquor, never sicker, man. Or wait is it liquor before beer? Shit….”

Rob shakes his head at their ridiculousness and letting out his first laugh of the night, willing the earlier tension in his body to dissipate.

“Hey, man! I thought you were going to beg the missus to join us tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m beginning to think Stewie doesn’t care much for us.” Another adds with a pout causing a few chuckles around the table.

Rob’s ears and neck pink at the mention, and he takes a swig from the beer placed in front of him. “This isn’t really her scene.”

“What? Good friends and conversation isn’t her scene? Not even for an appearance? I’m hurt.” His friend teases, but there’s an undercurrent to the line of questioning that makes everyone uncomfortable.

“She just prefers to hang in on her down time. She sends her regards though.” Running a hand through his hair, he easily shifts the conversation away from the woman likely surrounded by their dogs at home, and he must admit to himself that sounds nice in comparison.

After an hour, a sufficient buzz and talk of projects and producing possibilities had pushed his earlier mood out of his mind. He giggles to himself in the restroom thinking about the story told earlier in the night about an actress who’d unknowingly bathed in piss after being rude to the film crew and idly wonders would Kristen’s reaction would be to that story. On the walk back to the their table, which has attracted more bodies in the few minutes he’s been away, he slows his gait as he sends her a quick text to see how her night has been. He doesn’t expect a reply, so when his phone buzzes immediately with a selfie of her smiling with the dogs and her newest book obsession, he grins and stops his progression through the crowd.

They have a lot to work through still, but it helps to know that they’re not going to passive aggressively avoid each other.

“—not saying Kristen’s a bad chick, but I won’t be sad or shocked when he finally ditches the bitch.”

His head popped up from his phone at the mention of her name over the din, and he knew they couldn’t be talking about anyone other than them. They hadn’t noticed him approaching, and when they do the awkwardness is obvious. They know he couldn’t have missed the last bit of their conversation in his absence.

Phone back in his pocket, he smiles sardonically, searching for the right words. There’s a careful line he must walk along with this crowd. They’re his friends, but they’re not like Tom, Sam, Marcus, and Bobby. They’re not his boys, and there’s no history beyond his name at this point. “Don’t be too shocked or sad when I don’t because that bitch as you call her, she’s—” he shakes his head, disappointed that he even has to say anything, but he can’t leave it at nothing. His silence would only condone their judgment and become a tacit agreement.

There’s no single word, one shred of evidence that he can say to convince them or anyone certain that they know her or their relationship. She’s too special to him. Even when they’re mad at each other, they’re too special to share. “She’s it, and you guys can disagree, but I can’t be in the presence of people who’d insult me by insulting her, so think about that before inviting me out again.”

And with that final word, he leaves for his home.


End file.
